April 1, 2013
— FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE —
San Diego, CA — Due to the constant bickering and personality clashes and other interpersonal band relationships, The Plastic Revolution has decided to call it quits.
“We are no longer a band,” says Eddie Phanichkul, bassist and backup vocalist. “Nick Brownlee’s ego is writing checks his body can’t cash.”
“This is a complete surprise to me, I thought I had the biggest ego,” says Jake Skolnick, defacto band leader and front man. He also commented, “[Nick’s] everyone’s problem. That’s because every time he goes up in the air, he’s unsafe. I don’t like him because he’s dangerous.”
“First My Chemical Romance, and now this. I’m completely devastated,” laments Nick Turner, the band’s drummer. “I for sure thought we were headed to the danger zone, but thought we’d make it out of this.”
Regina Brown, TPR’s newest addition and awarding winning violinist, when reached for comment, threw her prized violin at us and screamed, “This is none of your effin’ business.”
Nick Brownlee will lead his new project Night Train, a Guns N Roses tribute band, along side his current project The Blue Suns. He could not be reached for comment, but was seen sunbathing in European underwear at his estate in San Diego, CA.
The Plastic Revolution only recorded two full studio albums with sales into the hundreds of copies worldwide. Having toured internationally twice, and playing some amazing venues, the band only managed to receive mediocre success. “At least we ended on a high note,” says Mr. Phanichkul, “We had a gig last week behind a Denny’s. There was unlimited soups and salads.”